Review
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Title: The Fob Bible
Author: Eric W. Jepson, et al
Publisher: Peculiar Pages (peculiarpages.com)
Genre: Bible-oriented
Year Published: 2009
Number of Pages: 262
Binding: Trade Paperback
ISBN10: 0-9817696-8-3
ISBN13: 978-0-9817696-8-4
Price: $23.99
Reviewed by Jeffrey Needle
With apologies to Art Linkletter, “Mormons say the darndest things!”
What the heck is a Fob Bible? It’s hard to say. Part Bible, part midrash, part send-up (but always respectful). All in all, a real hoot.
Its scope covers the Old Testament only. In a way, I’m glad this is so. It’s hard to spoof the New Testament without bordering on the sacrilegious. But the Old Testament is, frankly, ripe for the picking. Where do you begin? How about nibbling away a bit at Jonah, or sticking your nose into Joshua’s business? Is Noah a floater, or does his story sink? And can anyone read the Song of Solomon and not get a bit overheated?
I’ve been convinced for a long time that God has a good sense of humor. Sure, he occasionally smites and scolds, but he always ends up smiling on his children, leaving them a bit better for the experience.
Some of the content is, in my opinion, nothing short of brilliant. I particularly loved the strangely-titled poem “Moses and Aron” (I’m not sure why “Aron” is spelled with only one A, unless Elvis had something to do with it):
And so it was that God gave us Aaron
for Moses was slow of speech
and didn’t look right in a business suit,
for we yanked on his bulrush-bred beard
and mocked him,
mocked him, the man who would that we might meet God,
lab-coated, sulfury-smelling and steaming mad down from
Mount Sinai.
The master of the shape-shifting serpent pen—
rejected, returned the manila envelope,
advised to apply at the library.
And so it was that God gave his genius to Aaron,
the great dilutor, P.R. man of the Pentateuch,
to trim their burning bush into topiary
and punch up the prose with a little sports metaphor,
and a little golden calf.
And so it was that we came to prefer the spokesman
while the prophet was buried in an unmarked grave
and was not permitted into our Promised Land,
where we would burn the fat of rams
and would ask God for a king.
(p. 69)
How many hours could we spend wondering at the wisdom in this short poem? The haunting imagery of a “P.R. man of the Pentateuch" being preferred over a prophet...it all hits just a little too close to home.
Other sections, frankly, fall flat. There is a section that describes the conversation between Balaam and the ass. I left it wondering why they included it in this book. As far as I could tell, it didn’t add to the story one whit. I guess you can’t win ‘em all.
But make no mistake, by and large, this book is a delight from beginning to end. There are smiles and smirks, but there are also deeply insightful ponderings on things previously considered too holy to study too closely.
The authors have put together an amazingly amusing work of biblical storytelling that brings new life to a tired old book. Am I being irreligious by calling the Bible tired and old? Not really. It’s been around a long time. The stories have been told and retold from one generation to another. It’s had its defenders and its detractors. But, in the end, breathing new life into the biblical canon can be a wonderful exercise in creative devotion.
There’s something for everyone here: poetry, prose, play-writing, and even some e-mails (it’s not clear from my reading of the Bible that the patriarchs and prophets had access to the Internet, though this would explain quite a bit...). There’s pity and pathos, humor and hubris, given the imprimatur of a committee of very smart Saints, bound nicely between paper covers, and released into the wilds of Mormondom.
Enjoy “The FOB Bible.” It’s a nice addition to the corpus of writing about the Bible, and will surely find a welcome place in your home.
Jeffrey Needle
Association for Mormon Letters
jeff.needle@gmail.comwww.aml-online.orgwww.LDSBookLovers.com/Needle.html
