Review of Joni Hilton's "Dating: No Guts, No Glory"


About ten years ago when I was just beginning my dating life, my mother gave me a book to read called, “Dating: No Guts, No Glory.” It was one of the many books my parents bought me as a teen I never bother reading. Periodically, I would see it on the book shelf, but figured the title said it all and there was no point in reading it. Then at the tender age of twenty five I picked it up out of boredom while visiting my parents and started to read. I read about a chapter and was surprised that is was a fictional novel, for some reason I thought it was going to be some sort of non-fiction book by some dating wiz. I put it aside for several months until needing a book to read for my Mormon Literature class and decided I’d give it another shot. It is true, that the title says a lot about what it takes to be successful in dating, but the book itself shares a depth of wisdom behind the statement of the title.
The book’s main character, Louisa, is a young woman just graduating from high school. She has some dating experience, but is just starting to embark on what would be two or three years of a great multitude of dating experiences. The reader gets a great lesson from each of her experiences, both good and bad, as she tries to figure out what she is looking for in an eternal mate. One of the great qualities of Louisa is that she really takes note of all her lessons learned and grows dramatically from year to year in college.
The story begins with Louisa at her graduation date’s graduation ceremony. There she notices Marky Davis, a person she has clear animosity towards, who is the Senior Class President. She outlines why she can’t believe this guy is so popular and seems kind of jealous of him. This part of the book leads to the predictable ending that we see in a lot of love stories, that she ends up with Marky. After going through all of her dating experiences over the years, with all her wisdom, she starts volunteering at a hospital. While serving there, she meets a young college kid who comes in as a clown and entertains all the sick children. The description of this clown is the exact opposite she gives of Mark Davis at the beginning of the book, and ironically the clown turns out to be Mark Davis. He being in a clown suit gave her the opportunity to see him for what he really is. Although predictable, this is one of the many great lessons this book offers about dating. Passing unfair judgment on others can leave a person void of a possible wonderful, enduring relationship.
There are many lessons to be learned as I’ve mentioned, and this book really covers all the basis of dating. Including, what the difference is between love and infatuation; the importance of seeing the person you date in a variety of circumstances; what type of family they come from and how they treat their families; also, the importance of dating multiple people at the same time, until you do find a good match. These wise principles, as well as many others, are covered in great depth in the book. The experiences of Louisa help to make the principles presented applicable to a persons life. It’s also good for an inspection of the reader’s own experiences and how they could learn more from past dating experience. That was particularly helpful for me.
The book’s most important message was that marriage is something that should not be taken lightly. It is a very big decision, especially for those in the Mormon faith. When choosing a partner, it should be a matter of faith and prayer. It shouldn’t be off of a whim or some sweeping infatuation, but from seeking guidance from God to choose the right person. The book’s message is, waiting for the right kind of person is definitely worth to you and your future family. Selling out in this department could well be the most devastating thing you could ever do to yourself.
The only flaw of this book I saw was in Louisa’s character. She seemed at times to have more wisdom than she ought to for a twenty year old. It seemed as though the author, a forty something year old, was speaking and not Louisa. For the most part, the novel was very subtle in it’s approach to teaching valuable lessons, but occasionally there would be long drawn out sermons from Louisa on a particular idea or dating philosophy that were a little overwhelming. Overall, the insight was great, but there maybe a little overkill in some of the books verses.
I would certainly recommend this book to anybody who is dating and to those who are married. Yes, it even gives some great counsel for married people. Considering, dating is what leads to marriage, you can assume that the principles that govern successful dating would also play a role in successful marriages. Dating takes a lot of hard work and so does marriage. Dating is courtship and so should marriage be. True love can be found through dating and dating can keep true love growing in marriage.
I would especially encourage young daters to read this novel to increase their wisdom on the subject. Other than the areas previously mentioned, the book was well written, very witty, and thoroughly covers what you need to know to be successful in finding the right person in life. As the book points out, there are different stages in life and different types of dating at each of these stages. This book will help all daters see where they are and where they need to be as far as the dating stages are concerned. If your already in the right place, you’ll be able to continue on and be more successful.